As this year comes to a close, Jenna and I have decided to make a list of all the things you can do to fail in your seventh grade year. If you follow all these steps, you will have the best 7th grade year ever. Have fun!
1.Never do your homework.
Who has time for that? This new society has Netflix, YouTube, candy crush, and many more phone apps that make you procrastinate. Just tell your parents that you did your homework in wildcat time! This will boost you into failing!
2.Bring your phone to class and turn your ringer on.
All of your classmates will know whenever you get a text. Your teacher might take away your phone and give it to the office. Who knows? You might just get detention for this?
If you don’t study, you won’t ever need to bring anything home! You don’t even need a backpack! Plus, you don’t have to worry about passing your test. You won’t! It’s all decided for you! If you get a 0 on a test, you will have a party! Single digit test scores are the best!
4.Ditch class. Every. Day.
Another way to fail your tests is if you don’t show up at all! You can watch Netflix in the bathroom instead of doing that math project. Boom! You get a zero! If you do show up to class at all, make sure it’s in the last few minutes. When the tardys add up, you get Saturday school! Don’t forget to ditch that too!
5.Talk back to teachers.
This will always come in handy! They will eventually get so annoyed with you and they will send you out in the hall. We all know what that means! Ditching class!
6.Pull the fire alarm.
Everyone will see you do it, so this is the perfect fast-track to suspension. You get to skip school while you are suspended! Don’t forget to forget to do your makeup work!
7.Don’t charge your iPad.
Kill all of the trees! Electronic is not better! Use all of the paper you possibly can! All of the little birds won’t have a home so they will live in your backyard or they’ll die. Free pets! Who needs them in school? Skyward tests? No! You can fail almost everything! You won’t need your iPad to check skyward because you know what your grades are: failing!
8. Cheat on tests.
If you just have to show up to class on a test day, make a big show of trying to cheat. Make sure your teacher can tell you are cheating, so you get a zero on that test. If you do this enough, you might get sent to the office. We all know that getting sent to the office just a fancy title of ditching class.
9.Go swimming with your iPad.
Lifeproof cases are stupid and expensive. You don’t want to pay $100 for a piece of junk, do you? Instead, you can test if your iPad is waterproof by going swimming with it. It’s not, but iPads are great companions! You can be facetiming your friend that’s in Colorado when you’re jumping in the pool. Guess what no iPad means? Failing!
10. Wear a swimsuit to school.
I’m talking bikini with no cover-up. You will get dress coded and will have to call your mom to tell her to bring you clothes. Guess what that means? You ditch class to wait for her! As explained earlier, ditching class equals failing.
If you have completed these few simple steps, you will be failing all of your classes and will hopefully be expelled. Have fun failing!