E NEEds Equality

** EVERY TIME THERE IS AN E IN THE WORD I WILL CAPITALIZE IT. NO MATTER WHAT!!!  THIS IS A JOKE!**

E is my favoritE lEttEr. My favoritE color is bluE, my favoritE animal is an ElEphant, my favoritE food is chickEn marsala, the instrumEnt I play is a trumpEt, my favoritE sport is basEball, I livE in TExas, yEt all off thEsE  havE somEthing in common.  ThEy all havE an E somEwhEre in thE word.

You might bE asking EthEn, why doEs E nEEd Equality? WEll I was taking an English STAAR BEnchmark, and I was looking at thE answEr choicEs, but thErE  was no E!!! This is an outragE.ThE most usEd lEttEr, and the bEst lEttEr EvER, yEt it’s not on thE  bEnchmark. About a  wEEk ago was MLK day, and hE fought for African AmErican rights. This is diffErEnt! This is DEFINITLEY WAY MORE IMPORTANT!!! This could causE a war betwEEn vowEls and constants. You can probably can guEss what sidE thE is on. Ding Ding Ding. If you guEssEd thE vowEl sidE you arE corrEct!

But why would E bE on thE vowEl sidE? It’s prEtty simplE. ThErE is an E in vowel and no E in constant.  I’m all into pEacE, but if thE law doEsn’t change and allow E to bE an answEr choicE on thE BEnchmark and STAAR tEst, thEn E will movE to a diffErEnt alphabEt and start a nEw EstablishmEnt.  Who will rEplacE E? Y will. Nobody likEs Y. Y is a bad no good rubbish  horriblE copycat. YEs Y is a pEasEnt comparEd to E who is thE PrEsidEnt of thE UnitEd StatEs of AmErica. Wait a minutE. Why am I comparing E to Y? E is WAY too awEsomE to bE comparEd with Y. EWW that’s disgusting.

SomE good nEws is that whEn I took my sciEncE tEst, thErE was a answEr choicE for E. I was ExcEllEntly ExtrEmEly ExcitEd! For oncE E had Equality.  I hopE to sprEad awarEnEss of this VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE! REnEmbER if you EvEr sEE no E on a tEst, it is probably a bad tEst.

This was vERy fun to writE and pEculiar and uniquE in my opinion. CommEnt to tEll mE what your favoritE part of this post was!

 

3 thoughts on “E NEEds Equality”

  1. My favorite part of this post is your voice! I can hear YOU in your writing 🙂 There is a playfulness in this that makes it an enjoyable read.

    Thanks for the laugh today 🙂

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