How To Ruin A Relationship in 5 Easy Steps

Whether friend or companion I’ll make sure they’re gone. Follow this guide and you may be lonely forever as you eat microwave ramen on your couch with Mr.Mittens.

1. Embarrass yourself. Tell your Girlfriend or boyfriend that you shove pizza in your pants to improve the “Thigh look” and they’ll be gone before you know it.

2. Walk away. They can’t be your friend if you randomly disappear and aren’t there.

3. Get angry. Sometimes even just a hell raising, dead rising, glass shattering, demon killing, ground shaking, head exploding scream can do the trick.

4. Move to canada. Aye they’re having real fun time up there aye.(do Canadians even say aye?)

5. Say you’re cheating on them. Let them see that your cheating with someone else, like a mole rat, or a snake, or president trump. Maybe you’re cheating with the sexy pool cleaner.

(disclaimer make sure your not near any kitchen knives, screwdriver or cars on step 5.)

In conclusion get rid of them quick, slick and you may want to light a Bic. Burn all last passports or information.

1 Comment

  1. I have no words.

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