No More Mars

Up until the year 2016 came along and tainted the world forever, humans were going to go Mars at some point. Buuuut, research was done, and now, it’ll take a lot longer and maybe be impossible for humans to go to Mars. The reason for that is a little invisible thing that is called “cosmic radiation”.

Cosmic radiation is basically the universes way of saying “puny humans, they will never make colonies on other planets”. It travels in the form of normal radiation, but if exposed to it for a long time, the beams of tiny death will mess with the astronauts heads and drive them insane. And it will take months to get to mars.

This means that if we put humans in an expensive little chunk of metal (space ship) and send them en route to mars, then they will go insane along the way. As if space wasn’t already scary enough. This news is bad. I’m so sorry, Mark Watney.

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