Open Letter To My Guitar Teacher

Dear Wayne,

Of course, I must start at the fact I wouldn’t be who I am without your help in my studies of music theory or learning how to shred some shredtastic blues riffs on my guitar. Everything that I love to do is built off of my love of playing guitar, and I wouldn’t have that without your excellent teachings. You’ve taught me in the best way possible, from the first 30 minute lesson on a cold Thursday in the third grade. Your teachings, are what I am thankful for, because it has led me to do great things. Thank you. I hope that never goes away.

Of course, it wasn’t easy at first–I was very skeptical of you and your teachings. Listening to you ramble on about what an E note was seemed infuriating at the time. I would have a face contorted into a scowl looking upon you as you explained the notes that labeled the strings played. The guitar felt so stiff and hard to play, and my ability to pluck seemed so stagnant. I would harshly pluck one note and then cross my arms while my face squinted in frustration. Yet, even after my stubbornness, you kept at it, and you grew on me as the first year went by and my fingers began to–moderately–warm up to the fret board and I started alternate picking other than just picking straight down.

It was just, I wasn’t understanding the deeper meaning of what playing guitar was actually leading me as a person to be. The question I always asked myself was: what the am I doing this for? Would I ever know?

As the next couple of years went by, I became more independent as a player and as a person as I entered the sixth grade. It all began to dawn on me–my love of music, my long hairstyle, my laid back personality, it all was because I experienced your teachings, and you opened my eyes in the process by showing me what this item with strings on it really opens up in a person. Everything I am is modeled off of what you are and what you have showed me. Thank you for that.

Then we get to now: I am almost through the seventh grade and am about to move to a separate state. My skill in guitar and my knowledge of music theory has come together to support my saxophone playing, all the bands that I know and understand, as well as me taking leadership on what I do on my guitar all the while still being taught new things by you every Thursday for 30 minutes. I still appreciate it, and I am glad that I am given the chance to learn about something so great that adds to what I already know and have experienced. When I move, even though we will Skype call in replacement of a lesson, it will still be a chapter of my life coming to an end, and it will be a truly magnificent experience that is leading me to hopefully great things.

Thank you, Wayne, for your guitar lessons that have inspired me to become a better person and learn more about music all the time, and answering my question, I am doing this because it is who I am, and without it, I would have not a whole lot to enjoy. and most importantly, for showing me how to shred some shredtastic blues riffs on my guitar.

In the most sincerest of ways, your best student,



For certain people, shoelaces are their worst enemy. I’m one of those people. No matter what I do, I always seem to have my shoelaces come untied in the most annoying time possible.

“Alright everyone, ready to run an 800?” The coach would say. We’d all have no choice but to say yes sir. But wait…I look down with a look of dread plastered on my face to see my laces untied. Before I could react, the whistle blows and we’re off. I run as fast as I possible can, but my shoelaces keep whipping my legs, making it hard to run. Soon, I’m out of breath and only halfway through the first lap. I can hear the coaches scolding me in the back of my head, although, I could of sworn I tied my shoes right before I came to athletics. Thoughts run through my head as I get lost in the “what if” section in my mind library of thoughts. Before I know it, I’ve finished the second lap and am halfway through it due to me thinking deeply about my shoelaces. (And what ifs) I create a burst of speed with the last bit of energy I have…I can see it, its so close…almost there…ALMOST THERE….and then I trip.

Shoelaces suck. Tie a quadruple knot before your face ends up in the dirt.

San Antonio Band Trip

So in 3 weeks, the 7th and 8th grade band has to take a trip to San Antonio to compete! This is a very big thing, because for our grade, it is the first out of city trip that we’ve taken. But, after hours of sitting on a freezing bus in our band uniforms and getting up at 4:30 or earlier, we get to go to six flags for 5 hours!

So essentially we have to be at school by 6. That’s usually when I wake up in the morning. That means we have to get up at 4:30, do everything to get ready while looking extra nice just for the occasion, and then dress up in a scratchy turtle neck or an annoying dress. Then we sit on a “luxury bus” that is going to be freezing cold for like 2-4 hours. Thankfully we are allowed to sleep on it. But, then we have to wait in a room for another hour and then when we finally get to perform, we walk all the way to the stage and play. You’re probably thinking it gets worse, but that’s about it.

After all this, we get to change into our regular clothes, and then we head to six flags! I just hope I won’t be too tired go. This trip will be both grueling and fun, and I look forward to experiencing it.

Thoughts On New Metallica Album

Recently fans were met with the new Metallica album: Hardwired…To Self Destruct. This new album is full of many things that reflect on it, and I’m going to review those things today.

First met with an epic album cover, that being a collage of all the band members faces, and a throwback to the early Sound that Metallica retained in some older albums like “Master of Puppets” and Ride the Lightning.” This album covers how the world truly is a harsh place in songs like “ManUNkind” which is a dorky name in my opinion. This album truly has a harsh tone to it like the older albums.

This album is missing something though. Something that Metallica has forgotten and hasn’t remembered for over 30 years. They just aren’t retaining that voice of darkness, but at the same time it’s like they’re in a happy place, regardless of the dark tone of the song. The riffs a lot of the time are boring, and the lyrics are cheesy and sometimes stupid. I feel that this band has all their money, and just aren’t trying as hard as they can. There are few songs that I like on the album, and the ones I do like, I feel like could be much better if Metallica just put a little more thought into it. I still remain loyal to the bands older work however and hope that they improve their standards a bit in the future.

This album is not their best, and is not one of my favorites. However, the awesome album cover and the throwback to old Metallica proves that they are headed in a better direction for the future.

Biography of King Snack

So there is this looming character always out to kill the Squatches, right? I’m sure you know him as King Snack. He is the king of the Snack empire, and wishes to put out all life and put them under this rule. As you can tell, he ain’t a nice guy. (Quote, Billy Dipgnaw)

King Snack was born in a far away forest, in a house that was the first house ever built by the Snacks, because after all…he is the part of the Johmsom lineage. Yes, he is part of a very important line of descendants: He is the descendant of the first man ever created by the Snack Kid.

He took on the name of Sir Bee Bono Jefferson Johmsom Applewater Snack Pack Senior The 24th. That’s not his full name. His full name takes up like 700 paragraphs. So for now, we call him King Snack. (Also not his real name) he didn’t adopt this name until much later in his timeline. He was a young prodigious Snack Stacker, and that’s petty much all you need to know about him. In Snack religion, a person is only remembered for their skill in Stacking. In this case, he was incredibly skilled. Often being able to Stacks of about 500 Gigomillionites.

After King Snacks dad started to get sick with a mysterious illness, and halted his training with King Snacks Snack Stacking, King Snack became enraged. He blamed the Empire for this illness, because he believed it had been Squatch born. The Squatches had recently rebelled against one of the Empires squads sent to attack their forests. This is one of the major keys that began The Snack war. The Empire had allowed this mistake to happen, because they had brushed this minor rebellion off as something easily dealt with, and ended up getting attacked. The Squatches pillaged a village, that so happened to have King Snacks dad and himself in it. King Snack was in a hidden cellar at the time, but his dad hadn’t made it. All of his Snacks were stolen. He afterwards caught this illness. King Snack entered a Snack Depression for a while, until when his dad finally did pass on, King Snack became enraged again. He challenged the current king to a Stacking contest.

The contest was long and boring, but in the end King Snacks hatred tromped the current kings pacifist ways. King Snack exhausted all of the kings stacks, and ended up with an exhausted king at his feet. King Snack banished the king to the Valley unSnackening. He was never heard from again. King a Snack, with the whole empire in fear, proclaimed himself a King, and has lead a long and corrupt tyrannical rule for many years and many more to come, blaming the Squatches and the Empire, and pledging to wipe the Squatches out of existence.

Why Metallica is a Good Band

My ears are probably dead by now. My earbuds have shattered my ears before. It’s not because the volume is up super loud, it’s simply because Metallica is a metal band. As you can probably tell, I love Metallica. I’m going to tell you why Metallica is a good band.

Metallica is one of my favorite bands, and is my favorite band of the genre it is in. It was the first band that actually made me start to appreciate and like music, and motivated me to explore different bands.

So first off, they are pioneers. Metallica was a band that came out during the early 80s, as a brand new form of music that was growing in popularity. The music industry found interest in them, but they didn’t know how to classify them. So they simply put them as “Hard Rock”.

Secondly, their original style. Metallica simply played heavy metal. Their song meanings were dark and brooding, and their style was fast paced and intense, in a sense where it almost seemed joyous and happy, even though the meanings were mostly dark.

Third, they didn’t care about what everyone though of their music. They just played, and enjoyed making the music. That is until after the Black album. Their whole career, they’ve dealt with caustic criticisms and countless individuals that feel like it’s their job to judge Metallicas music. The whole time they haven’t cared. They just made music and enjoyed it.

Those are my three reasons on why I think Metallica is a great band, and even though they aren’t as good as they were, I still like their music and listen to it frequently.

The Story of Squatch Mcgrutemer and Crimmy Timmermon Pt 2

Snack Flies…the brilliant Snack creature. This creature is of great importance to the Squatches, being that way for almost as long as the Squatches have existed. It was once said, take away the freedom of the Snack Flies, you take away the will of the Squatches.

The Snack Flies are ancient and glorious. They have been around since before the Snack Kid. Yet no matter how ancient, no matter how beautiful, no matter how much history is held behind the emerald orbs of the Snack Flies, there is always someone trying to capture them for their power. (Hint: King Snack)

As Squatch Mgee and this strange man continued to roll down this dramatically long hill, Mgee was filled with the shame and despair of him failing to fulfill his promise to his kind. He caught a glimpse of this mans nametag, and it read “Hello! My name is Crimmy Timmermon” As the two rolled into a semi flat surface, Mgee’s eyes went from despair to rage. He kicked Crimmy off of him, sending him flying into the air. In a raspy scream, Timmermon landed on the ground with a thud, and slowly hoisted himself up to scramble and grab his Snack Spear. He was a young short muscular man, with short black hair, now broken glasses, some slightly out of control stubble growing on his face, and a straw hat that matches with his steel plated overalls. Just as Timmermon has grabbed his spear, Squatchy had grabbed his before a Timmermon had even noticed. Mgee had learned to act almost like an assasian, to be silent, quick, and deadly. Soon the hatred in Squatch Mgee’s face faded as he witnessed the shame in Timmermons eyes. Timmermon was shorter than Mgee, and although Mgee had slightly less muscle than Timmermon, he was clearly intimidating the little dude. Before Squatchy could decide if he wanted to set his spear down, a voice startled them both into dropping their weapons.

“Hey now, there ain’t no need for fightin now, is there?” Said a very tall man that had come out of a large cabin that no one had ever noticed until now.

“Who are you?” Asked Timmermon in his raspy voice.

“Why, I’m Billy Dipgnaw, and I think you two oughta visit the Snack Kid.”

The Story of Squatch Mcgrutemer and Crimmy Timmermon Pt. 1

One day, outside the Squatch forest, there lived a Squatch named Squatch Mcgrutemer. (He prefers to be called Squatchy Mgee) He was a rather small Squatch, not quite as small and disfigured as a Micro-Squatch though. He was a warrior in the Snack Fly defense battalion. Despite his small stature, he was a great warrior, and fought off Snacks and clan monsters. Even still, the other more “gifted” Squatches laughed and taunted him. He was a lonely Squatch in his career.

One brisk fall day, the Snack Flies were humming, Squatches were eating them, and everyone seemed to be calm. Everyone except Squatchy Mgee. He sensed something was off. It was quiet…too quiet…He attempted to warn the other Squatches, who just laughed and swatted him away like a fly. As defiant as he was, he grabbed his spear, determined to go and find the source of this strange fear, and right as he did this, BOOM! The snacks had caught them off guard, and shot a Snack Shell at them. The Squatches in the front lines, the most gifted, had been taken out, which left the second squadron to fight. At this point, the Squatches were outnumbered, and the Snacks were slowly moving towards the Snack Fly Farm. Squatchy Mgee knew if he wanted to do anything, he had to act fast. He quickly climbed a tree and spotted the Snack troops squad leader. He looked like a strange figure, he seemed to be comprised of darkness. Where light went, he seemed to absorb it. He dove from from where he stood and missed the leader. Instead, he hit a rather lean, but muscular Snack warrior.

They both rolled down the battle field, and toppled down a hillside, away from the fight, as the Snack Fly Farm was taken.


Story Ammunition

This is a list of characters that ARE very real…I will use them in the future for blog post ammo. Comment below which one is funniest to you.

Crammle Pie Johmsom
Squatchee Mgee
Johmy Johmsom
Bee Bie Billy Bono
Dingle Berry Slim
Snack Mcgrutemer (Snacky Mgee)
Squatch Mcgrutemer (Squatchy Mgee)
Ol Gingee Mgee
Tim Buck Towolomy
Billy Dipgnaw
Wally Tah
Crimmy Timmermon
Operman Quolomy
Willa Tie Dilla Hunt
Billy Slimber
Sammy Slambird
Samuel Slamberg
Bobby Applewater
The Snack Kid

The Final Chapter

You’re back again? Wow dude, look, I appreciate your persistence but I’m pretty much out of Squatch Berry Stew! I’m on a very tight grocery budget! Doesn’t matter, this is the last chapter of the Snacks and the Squatches, so this shouldn’t take long.

So we left off after Snack King declared war on the Squatches. What I don’t understand is why he was so paranoid and made such a harsh decision. He decided to go on offense as he took a large army of Snacks and charged right into Squatch territory with himself in the front, to find that there were no Squatches anywhere. At least, that’s what they thought until they got ambushed. The Squatches were intelligent, and extremely good at hiding. They took out that army in less than 30 seconds, and only about 30 men including Snack King, made it out alive. Barely. He went to his intelligence chamber to formulate a plan on what to do next. Meanwhile, in the Snack Fly forest, the royal leader of the Squatches at the time was King Snack Flyethan Mgee. (Guess who his son is) and they were scoffing at the pitiful attempts of the Snacks. Unfortunately, this is one of the only mistakes the Squatches made.

Still new to this world,  the Squatches waited in plain sight for a couple weeks, waiting for them to attack in the exact same formation as before. And they did. But they also attacked from the skies, and from behind, and before the Squatch tribe new it, they were cornered. Mgee and his aristocrats were abducted, and the rest of the tribe fled into the forest. But, little did they know that there was one Squatch in disguise. His name was Paulson of the Snack Flies. He was the division of camouflages leader. He disguised himself under the knowledge of Mgee in case this happened. (No one knows how) SOOO King Snack tortured the Squatches for information, and Paulson of the Snack Flies himself was one of the “torturers” and when he raised his whip in front of King Mgee’s face, he struck and incapacitated everyone in the room, and kidnapped Snack King. Long story short, they tortured him into surrender, and took all of his Snacks. King Snack vowed to get revenge on them sooner than later.

So we all learned a lesson, huh? Do not persistently pester a man for his Squatch Berry stew and stories. Wait, did you hear that? I hear marching, and…Chanting… THE CLANS ARE CLASHING!!!