An Open Letter to Leo Valdez

Dear Leo Valdez,

Oh Leo. Funny, relatable Leo. You’re just way too underestimated, dude. You build an amazing dragon friend which is great for transportation. You defeat Gaia with the help of Octavian (but no one ever liked him so I’m just not gonna give him credit). You save your girlfriend off of her prison paradise, and what do you get? Almost nothing. And that just doesn’t sit well with me.

You save the world (and Olympus and the underworld) from Gaia’s wrath, and the next book is about how Apollo gets turned mortal (for like the fifth time) and how sad and self-pitiful he is. No one wants a mopey, apathetic, arrogant, pessimistic, obnoxious, impolite, vain little scumbag as our main character. So what if he gains character development in the books. I’m sure right as Apollo gains his powers back, within, like, two years he’ll be the same arrogant character that NOBODY LIKES. We want a main character that’s humorous, optimistic, uplifting, and so much more. We want you!

Your backstory is just so depressing (too depressing). You were only, like, six when your amazing mother died in a brutal fire caused by none-other-than-herself: GAIA! Now, if I were you, I wouldn’t be as brave as you were to fly the murderer of your mother up to the high heavens and risk your life to save the entire world as we know it. Thank god(s) you still lived, or else I would’ve thrown that book across the room and ripped the pages out. Trust me, that would not be a pretty sight to see. You deserve more for what you’ve been through and how you’ve dealt with it.

You’re the optimistic, funny, relatable, joyful demigod I’ve always liked, and yet, no one appreciates your amazing actions but me.

Thank you for being TOO relatable,
Joseph

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