February 16

Shopping or Suicide?

If you ever want to go to the most chaotic place in the universe you should consider the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon. It’s practically suicide to even attempt getting a box of tissues. Between ear piercing screams from nearby toddlers, outrageously l-o-n-g-l-i-n-e-s, and cramped parking lots; you’re considered lucky if you make it out sane.

HEB is a madhouse on the weekends. Unfortunately what other time is there to go and get more Topo Chico or Pop•tarts. Between eight hours of school, two hours of homework, and my parents work schedule I have no time to take a trip to the grocery store. Although, I’m not the only one who has no time. Every weekend the same type of people run up and down the aisles. Dodging their bodies is practically a sport. It uses eye, foot coordination as well as great maneuvering motions. I’m surprised it’s not in the olympics.

Have you ever been in the chip aisle -A.K.A. the most crowded aisles in the history of aisles- looking for the perfect bag of Tostitos Party Scoops? The bag is at the end of the aisle which might as well be at the other end of the Great Wall of China. All you have to do is to get from point A to point B. You’re 75% of they way there when-OHHH. Someone runs into you. You scramble to your feet avoiding to make direct eye contact. You’re about to make a recovery when once again your bodies meet. By now it’s just a battle of how many times both of you can muster up a “sorry.” Eventually somebody breaks the pattern and you regain focus. You get that bag of Tostitos and get the heck out of there. Praying you wont see the person you just plowed to the grocery store floor again.

Once safe inside your car you take a sigh of relief and a bow of pride for making it out alive. You arrive home and unpack those tissues, Pop•tarts, and Tostitos. Ripping into your bag chips you think to yourself; “shoot I forgot the Topo Chico!”

And that’s why grocery shopping is a suicide mission.

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Posted February 16, 2018 by maryh5 in category Uncategorized

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