Hello loyal followers! So I had the writing STAAR last week, so I was really not in the mood to write. Also, happy Easter to everyone. So last post, I’m afraid I left everyone a cliffhanger. It was about The Plan. This plan of mine has been put off for months, and finally, two weeks ago, I got to see it through.
First, I need to give you some background information. So on Valentine’s Day, I was over at my grandma’s house for the night while my mom and dad were out to do Valentine’s Day things. The next morning at lunch, my grandma received a text from my dad. It was a video of Bruce and Kaitlin using sparklers near my house… My wooden house. Nice thinking by them. (Sarcasm implied). Anyways, they had also put a pink smoke bomb on my front porch (there is now a permanent pink stain on my porch after lots of power washing.) This was the last straw. I had an idea a few months previously to somehow get some ladies’ unmentionables and strew them around their yard. I had been given a strong veto at the time. Now, I was given a very strong yes.
We went online and somehow found a website that would ship to us 120 colorful, lacy, cheap ladies’ unmentionables. This was back a few days after the bombing, and we were told that we would get the package of wrapping materials in early March before spring break. We told Dylan of our plan, and he wanted in. We spent weeks getting closer to the enemy, and we found out that he was going out to Guatemala for all of spring break: the perfect time to strike. We had our evil plan, and we were very happy about it.
As the days went on, we kept checking the package tracking website. This is where things started going wrong. After two weeks, the package was still in China! (Yes we bought these from China). It took the package a week to get to the U.S – on a boat of all things! By that point, Bruce’s dad had managed to fall through his back porch and break his leg, so no Guatemala, and Dylan was already in Colorado skiing. So we decided to not wrap them during spring break.
On the Wednesday of spring break, Kaitlin was scheduled to come over to my house to watch the newest Supernatural episode with me. Kaitlin cannot keep a secret to save her life, so we had not told her about the plan. She would probably have told Bruce, which would have been unacceptable. So my mom and I get home from a shopping trip to the mall 20 minutes before she’s supposed to come. I checked the porch per my usual routine. Low and behold! A small package on our porch. I ran to it, picked it up, and dashed inside.
“MOM IT’S THE PACKAGE!! IT’S THE PACKAGE!” I screamed. She looked at me dubiously and took it from my hands. We unwrapped it… Before my eyes were the unmentionables that would get me my revenge. Mom counted each one for a total of 120 pairs as I watched the door and did a little happy dance.We worked lightning fast and had just put them in a bag in my mom’s closet when the doorbell rang. I spent the next evening watching Steel Magnolias and Merlin and cutting tags written in Russian off of the Chinese items.
Fast forward to the Saturday after spring break. Dylan came over to my house, and we waited for the right time to pick up an unsuspecting Wesley from his home and exact my revenge. After hours of waiting, we finally went to go pick up Wesley. We had previously told his mother about the plans and had asked her to keep him awake and in dark clothing and away from his phone. We rang the door bell with our all black attire and with our ski masks that Dylan had provided on. Wesley was very confused for about 30 seconds until we started to explain the plan. He loved it. After we finished our explanation, we headed towards Bruce’s house. We each grabbed a bag with 40 pairs of the ladies’ unmentionables, and Dylan grabbed a plastic angel from the Christmas excursions and we were off!
We stopped the car at the top of the street. We walked down to Bruce’s house while my mom took a moment to explain what was happening to the strange guy walking his dog at 10:30 at night. I went all around the yard, strewing ladies’ unmentionables everywhere I could. I also tied some to their SUV in the driveway. I put 3 on their gargoyle, I put two on their sculpture of a dog, and more on another sculpture of a chicken. Then Dylan, with a stroke of genius, tied one baby blue pair around the neck of the plastic angel and hung it from a nail stuck in one of their pillars. After we were satisfied, we casually walked off, content with our work.
We took Wesley back home, then went to pick up Dylan’s things from my house and took him home. Eventually, my mom got a text from Bruce’s dad concerning our latest excursion. Since then, I have been applauded and congratulated by almost everyone I’ve told this story to. So for now… Checkmate!
Question of the post:
Would you have done this to Bruce’s house?