How To Survive School and Keep the Shattered Remains of Your Sanity Pt. 1


1. Plan:
This is a Zombie Apocalypse. Plan. Organize. Survival of the Fittest in this brutal world, and you need grades to survive.

  • If it helps, you can set reminders. It usually doesn’t, though.
  • You can write assignments on your arm, hand, or somewhere you always go.
  • Keep all your homework in one folder. If you keep it in the binder for that subject, you’ll have too much to carry.
  • DO NOT ask your parents to remind you. It might help at first, but as you get more experienced it’ll just get annoying.

2. Motivation
Goodness knows you need it.

  • Play any music that was in a Rocky montage. I prefer ‘Eye of the Tiger.’
  • Tell yourself the truth—if you get good grades, you can brag about how smart you are.
  • Act overly dramatic, i.e. “Oh, woe is me! Homework, my greatest foe..!” Extra points if you do it in rhyme and/or Shakespearian.
  • Your parents won’t make you do anything if you say, “I’m doing homework!”
  • Your teachers and parents will be convinced you are a super genius-valedictorian-hard-worker.
  • Learn the national anthem, either of your country or a country you don’t know. Sing it under your breath(or loudly, I guess) while you are struggling through your homework and imagine you are doing a great service for the country the anthem belongs to.

    3. Actual Knowledge
    Doing your homework doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know how.

    • Listen to the teacher. I know, I know, but if you know the stuff, you’ll graduate sooner
    •  Do the homework in the last minutes of class. It’ll still be fresh in your mind, so it’ll be easy.
    • Take notes. You aren’t a computer, you can’t remember everything. Write everything down like a mindless drone. EVERYTHING.
    • Stop talking to your friends in class. You’ll have to whisper, and you’ll get caught. Plus, you aren’t a secret agent, you’re a survivor!
    • Think about the subjects. History, for example. The Revolutionary war wasn’t a boring battle. It was a blood-stained, fight against the overtaxing British, ruler of the colonies and greatest empire since Rome, and the Americans, the poor colonists, fighting for their freedom. Or, I suppose, if you’re British, how an ungrateful colony spontaneously declared independence because of raised taxes. Either way, it sounds like it could be made into a movie. In fact, the first one already was. It’s called Star Wars. History, doing Star Wars since the 1800’s.

One thought on “How To Survive School and Keep the Shattered Remains of Your Sanity Pt. 1

  1. You wrote some good tips on this post! Although, I would prefer you not write your assignments all over your arm/hand. 🙂

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