I Never Thought I’d Do This, or: My Five Year Old Self Would Be Ashamed

I never thought I’d do this. I mean, if you’d asked me a couple years ago if I would ever read Vogue and enjoy it, I would say:

“No. Why?”

But, even though I really only watch it to make fun of high fashion (I mean, some of those colors…ugh!) I still compliment and to someone who likes interior designing I might even sound coherent. This would frighten my tiny five year old self to death.

“You LIKE this stuff?!” My cute little self would sqeak.

I would nod solemnly and reply, “It’s fun to laugh at how ridiculous some of these dresses are. Look! Who pairs those two colors tog—”

“STOP!” Chibi me would shriek. “For the love of Tolkien, stop!”

I wouldn’t heed little Chib-me’s words, and continue gushing about dresses and colors and design and GOOD LORD WHO DESIGNED THAT GARBAGE BAG IN THE GUISE OF AN OUTFIT?!

IS SHE EVEN WEARING A SKIRT?

Chib-me hangs her tiny head in shame and shakes her head. She’s so disappointed. Awww.

Laws, Science Pt. 2: Attack of the Shrimp-People, or- A Lesson in Infinity

You might remember the end of Part 1, where I said there is a universe where all of us are shrimp-people. This is true. Along our shrimp-people, there are the cat-people, dog-people, or perhaps the illustrious mosquito-people. And, thanks to infinity, there is an universe where they all exist at once. And one where they are all two-dimensional. And one where they are at war, one where world peace is a thing, ect.

Think of that ect. when you are thinking of infinity. The concept of infinity is basically forever. Think of forever for a moment. If you’re like, “Ya. Already knew that. Not a big deal,” then you clearly don’t get infinity. Try again.

Feeling small yet, minuscule ape-person? Or highly advanced, multidimensional shrimp-person?

Okay, perhaps you are now thinking something along the lines of, ‘Okay, in another dimension, I’m a shrimp-person. So what?’

Well, I say to you, because I am a proficient mind reader, “So, can you imagine being a shrimp-person? No? Then be quiet and go work on your imagination a bit, Little Shrimplet.”

That’s what I’m calling you now. Shrimplet.

End of Part Two.

Stay Tuned for Pt. 3!

Why J.R.R Tolkien Is a Genius: The Simarillion, Middle Earth, and Elvish

Once upon a time, there was a brilliant, wonderful book written by an intelligent, creative man. No, there were several, brilliant, wonderful books written by this man. Three of these were the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and its prequel The Hobbit, two were The Book of Lost Tales, and one book to rule them all, one book to find them, one book to take the tales and in the darkness bind them.

This book was named the Simarillion. It wasn’t even finished when he died, but his son (Christopher Tokien) finished it for him. That’s how awesome Tolkien was. He continued to publish another book after his demise. I suppose genius can’t be confined by mortal laws.

Perhaps, Shrimplet, you are thinking, ‘Come on, he wasn’t THAT awesome!’

“Have you ever invented a consistent mythology, a consistent language, a consistent culture, a consistent map and world, and characters that are consistently awesome? No? Of course not. Because only J.R.R Tolkien (and, sometimes, Christopher Tolkien) has ever succeeded in doing so. So be quiet and listen to me praise a genius.” I say, again showing my proficiency at mind reading.

You shut your cakehole and decide to go read The Hobbit.

Laws, Science Pt. 1

Oh, science. Sometimes you confuse me.

That is an example of something I will never, ever, say. Science makes a world of sense. Unlike some laws humans have created, the laws of gravity

a) Physically cannot be broken, no matter how hard you try or how rebellious you feel, and

b) Aren’t completely stupid and meaningless. Because if you don’t follow the laws of science – the basic laws anyway – you literally cannot be real. I know sometimes people use literally to exaggerate, (i.e. “I would literally die!) but I mean literally, as in you physically cannot exist in the Universe!

Sometimes I don’t want gravity to be a thing, but actually, no, I don’t, because if gravity didn’t exist we would not, would never, exist.

That would be pretty bad.

And then there’s spacetime..wait a second! Why is there a squiggly red line under spacetime? You don’t get to squiggly red line Stephen Hawking!

Never mind, they had the squiggle under lightsaber too. They’re just not very smart.

Anyway, spacetime. Stephen Hawking describes other theories as a railroad, a linear construct, but he goes on to say time is more like multiple tracks that can circle back to any station at any time. He also says that time and space are tangled together, and you can’t effect one without effecting the other as well. The Doctor, (from the BBC series Doctor Who) describes it as ‘more of a ball of wibbly-wobbly….timey-wimey…stuff.’ which is essentially the same concept put more whimsically.

Therefore, if you were to, theoretically, create a time machine, it would also have to be space machine, relatively, therefore figuring in the fourth and fifth dimensions, space and time. This purely hypothetical machine ( Time And Relative Dimensions In Space ) would warp space and time around it.

As for interdimensional travel, there would be a possibility of aforementioned travel assuming you mean dimensions in the sense of the multiverse theory, which proposes multiple Universes, (a delightful oxymoronic phrase) and not the dimensions in the sense of the second and third dimensions, which are used most often in Mathematical equations and made a delightful Doctor Who episode with two-dimensional beings and the T.A.R.D.I.S shrinking(though not on the inside!). If you’re talking about the multiverse theory, which also has been used in a Doctor Who episode, this implies there are doors, gateways, or some other form of travel. The machine mentioned must either be able to locate and withstand the pressure and energy of such a door, or must be able to create a door. Alternately, the ‘fabric’ between dimensions could be portrayed as a sheet of paper rather then a wall, and in that case you must find a rip, or you must be able to procure the force necessary to create a hole yourself.

How are the multiple dimensions located relative to each other? Are they too in a ball, so you can go from Dimension A to Dimension B to Dimension X, then back to A again? Or are they straight, so they can only go A to B to D, etc.

The multiverse theory proposes the Universes are the same as our own except for one or more crucial differences, like Albert Einstein became the president of Israel, or Isaac Newton decided he would stay inside and read.

Therefore, we can assume most of these universes are governed by, basically, the same laws as our own, because these laws are required to sustain life. If spacetime is a constant across the multiverse, it is to be reasonably assumed that, naturally, the multiverse takes the same shape as spacetime, because a universe includes space, time, and matter. This means, logically, you can go from A to B to W to X, and you won’t have to go through twenty-four dimensions to get back to A again. Instead the multiverse acts as a spherical grid, where the intersections are the dimensions. You can go from one side of the sphere to another with enough force, as well as the intersection next to you.

But what of time? If you traveled from your Earth in A, then to B, W, and X, when you returned to A, how much time would have passed if it took a year? In this scenario spacetime is a constant through the universe. Think of a infinite clothesline. Each piece of your laundry is an individual universe. The clothesline is spacetime. The clothes themselves aren’t touching outright, but all of them are touching the clothesline. If you were strong enough, you could go to one to another, with different colors and shapes and sizes, but it will always be the same clothesline.

But if you took an accurate clock on your Alphabet Adventure, it doesn’t mean it would match up with an equally accurate clock when you returned to Earth in Dimension A. This is part of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, called personal time. This states that there is no universal clock as previously believed, but instead time was warped depending on the speed of the object moving. This means your time machine, unbelievably powerful, would also have to move very fast. You would still be around the same age, and your best friend will have had children already!

Also on the subject of the multiverse theory is timelines. The popular theory is that every decision creates an alternate universe where a different choice was made, it was made in a different way, something (whether as uneventful as tripping or something as drastic as a fistfight) prevented you from making the choice, or the universe catastrophically ended. These, and an infinite amount of other scenarios, have happened in infinite dimensions in an infinite amount of ways. For example, in another universe, you never read this. In another, I never wrote it. And in yet another, we’re are all shrimp-people. Yes, shrimp-people. It’s possible, especially with infinity.

End of Part 1

Ready For Halloween?

image

Me on the left, sister on the right. I’m the one dressed as the Doctor.

You guys ready for Halloween? I know I am!

Surprisingly, we got all the material for my costume in a thrift shop and Goodwill.

Man was that overcoat hard to find.

(What do you guys think of my costume?)

Photo by me

Sherlock and Shipping

Okay, you all know about Doctor Who. If not, then WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY BLOG?! But seriously, Doctor Who isn’t the only good British show by Steven Moffat.

There is another.

I see…crossovers….crossovers between Doctor Who and….my new second favorite show of all time…

Sherlock.

Seriously, it’s awesome. I recommend it to anyone who is old enough to appreciate a good murder mystery and every waiter in the show thinking Sherlock and Watson are together.

Thank Moffat for those waiters.

So…Sherlock and Watson.

That would be would be adorable.

This is my new OTP.

Watlock.

I can actually see why fangirls ship it.

I used to think it as weird, because when I first heard of shipping fictional characters together, especially if they were both male, I was confused. But I was like nine.

Now I know better, and I know that this pairing is more awesome then Rory and Amy, The 10th doctor with Rose, and the 11th doctor with River.

COMBINED.

I think that being gay is fine.

In fact, most fangirls are fine with it. More then fine with it. They want it to happen.

And actually, I want it to happen a little too.

It would just be adorable.

Just don’t make Sherlock cuddly.

Just don’t.

(So, do you watch Sherlock? What do you think about being gay? And what do you think of Watson x Sherlock?)

(P.S By shipping I mean romance. Anything past that I do not want to see/read.)