The Lair of Darkness

Cold, dark wind whistles through the deep, dark cave, reeking of death. Flickering candles there bringing warmth, but not enough. It seems cold and lonely, but I can sense something else in this labyrinth; something evil and cruel. I move onwards to a endless dark lake, the cold water climbing up to my toes–sending a shock up my body. In the distance I see a suited figure –looking still–l “is it dead” I think to myself. I better check it out.

As I board the rickety old boat a silver and gold organ plays dreadful music; blasting my ears. The figure slowly walks towards me smiling, like he was happy to see me, but who was this thing? How does it know me? Suddenly, the boat disappears under my feet and I start to sink–I hear a horrific maniacal laugh behind me, excited for me to die.

My life flashes by me, and I fall into an eternal sleep.
mystical window
Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Lorenzo Cuppini via Compfight

5 thoughts on “The Lair of Darkness

  1. I like the way that you put yourself in the shoes of one of the phantoms victims. I also likethevway that you talked about the boat disappearing from under your feet and the phantom laughing in the background. This was a good post.

  2. There is a lot of imagery in the first two sentences. I like the sentence: “Cold, dark wind whistles through the deep, dark cave, reeking of death.” This personifies the wind and the cave. This also sets a dark mood. Great Job!

  3. This is a really good post. I really liked how you used paragraphing to change actions it really makes it more interesting. I also liked how you used the curiosity of the character to make him do things that can add effect.

  4. I think this is a very interesting post. My favorite thing about it was the curiosity of the main character. The imagery is also vivid, and it did a good job painting the picture of your story into my head.

  5. I like how unlike other entries you described more of the temperature and how the room felt not how it looks. I also like how you slowly end the story and get a more creepy feel to the writing. all in all great writing and I hope to read another

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