How to strategically avoid telemarketers

“No thank you! I am no need of your services!” You scream violently into your crummy old landline. Frustration quite perceptible in your popping veins. No longer will you have to clutch your phone in rage, rejecting every call. After reading this, you will be the telemarketers worst enemy.

One of the very common ways to confuse the average telemarketer is the calm approach. No shouting, no stress, no bad mood. Kindly plead them–no, beg them–to put you on their no-call list. A usual telemarketer will not mind and likely take you off. Few telemarketers will continue to try and persuade you to buy their products. Even fewer are those who refuse and say, “Sorry, we cannot do that for you.” If they refuse, forget the calm approach and feel free to spew profanities. After all, the only use for a telemarketer is to raise your blood pressure.

Let us move on to more of an exciting method of torture. Revenge. Waste their time in generous amounts, changing the subject and interrupting when they start to speak. It may sound quite odd when you see a person irritating a telemarketer and not vice versa. If they try to yell louder than you, don’t hang up. That would would be quite rude. Instead wait for them to hang up and then call them back. If they are using a blocked number, simply wait for them to call you again. Repeat this process until you feel satisfied. Now that you are learning, you can use telemarketers as a source of entertainment.

There are many ways to frustrate telemarketers. Some along the lines of changing the subject (which I am proficient at) or even calling them repeatedly after they hang up. It is quite rude when they end a conversation in that way. I will not keep you sitting here when you could be enjoying sweet conversation with a kind telemarketer. Begone, and continue to irritate telemarketer for forever and ever!

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4 thoughts on “How to strategically avoid telemarketers

  1. Great ideas on how to avoid telemarketers! Your post is very well organized, and you have great voice throughout! Well done, Varun! 🙂

  2. Good advice! Now, if I can only get them to stop calling right at dinner…So, sparkles ♥ you deserve them!

  3. Thanks for the advice Varun. I don’t know why, but on my phone I get tons of telemarketers calling me asking for various services. Thanks for the advice I’ll make sure to use these tips.

  4. This is great advice. I get very frustrated with telemarketers. I will have to keep your tips in mind next time I answer my phone.

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